Monday and back to work

Monday morning, going back to work. Even though for only six weeks, it seems daunting. Have gotten so used to my schedule at home, like a true retired person, am now realizing my true life desire is to do just this. "Retire" from my normal life. Not get a part time job or anything like that. Truly be at home, retired, from work field and work on my own creative life totally.

I can see now where it could happen. I would do it. No more worry, "Oh would I just become a bum, sitting around doing nothing, watching Tyra all day?" Nope, maybe for a week but that is it. I find the life minus a job, after 40 years, quite refreshing. What I remember I envisioned when starting out this working part of life. And it all gives me a feeling of being entitled somewhat.

When my daughter complains about her job and or how she can't stand it and does not think she should have to work a job, nor her boyfriend. They "see" how messed up it is with everyone having to work a job "forever" and never getting to do their own thing whatever it may be. OK, I can relate and understand that I also thought it was messed up and artists should be paid a wage to create etc. etc. However, now I feel more like "Tough shit girl. I put in my dues. Did my part to raise you. Did my time at the drudge job - for the family - for life as we knew it...  Now it is YOUR turn. Get out there and do it. Stop whining!"  I seem to have less patience with her and her partner than I have had these years, perhaps because I have had a taste of the "real" life I craved all these years. Being normal, even with my own daughter, I feel I paid m dues, now she has too - or don't bother me with begging and whining.

I do want to mention, have taken the synthroid at about 4a.m. each night for four nights now. Since I wake up then anyhow, figure take it then and there goes the hour of waiting while I am sleeping! I figured that changing from about 6a.m. to this 4 a.m. would not matter so much and I appear to be correct. I notice no difference other than I do not have to wait that hour before tea or coffee! Just need to make sure I continue to do the ten minutes of chanting however. That is the most important new habit of life I have to continue. As I am getting older, it is time to re-address this in my life. My promise, my duty, to my Spiritual Master....